Episode 220: 3 Levels of Intimacy: What Breaks a Marriage and How to Revive It
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In this raw and honest episode, Christine Jewell tackles the dangerous trap of pursuing physical intimacy while neglecting the spiritual and soul connection that actually creates lasting passion in marriage. Speaking from personal experience of recognizing how alcohol was opening doors to division in their own marriage, Christine reveals why most couples are trying to fix intimacy at the wrong level—it's a spiritual misalignment showing up as physical disconnection. Drawing from recent conversations with clients who were sharing their wins only to have their spouse feel threatened and competitive, Christine unpacks the subtle shift from operating under a spirit of division to becoming truly one spirit, one mind, and one flesh—and provides a clear roadmap back to God-centered intimacy across all three dimensions. If you're feeling like roommates instead of lovers or if you're succeeding individually but failing as a unified team, this episode will help you identify exactly where you're missing the mark and how to lock in alignment at the spirit, soul, and physical levels.
THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF:
- You feel like you're just roommates or business partners with your spouse, not intimate lovers
- The life you once had passion for has turned into surface-level conversations with no real depth
- You're carrying the weight of trying to fix your marriage with physical tactics and date nights that aren't creating lasting change
- You're working harder than ever individually but feeling more divided as a couple—one person's success makes the other feel like a failure
- You suspect there's a spiritual battle happening in your home but you keep trying to solve it with soul-level or physical solutions
- You're ready to stop pulling out boxes of band-aids and actually transform your marriage at the root level
- You need to understand why your spouse's body has shut down to you even though you're both "trying"
KEY TAKEAWAYS
🔨 Every single thing in the physical realm originates from the spirit realm—if you want to change your marriage, you must start by aligning your spirits under one God
🌊 Marriage is the most potent amplifier of everything: curses and blessings, thinking patterns, spiritual doors—whatever you're yoked to spiritually will manifest in your soul and body
👂 You cannot have true intimacy if you're spiritually connected over a spirit of fear, greed, or competition instead of being unified under the Spirit of God
💎 When you share your success and your spouse feels threatened, that's a spirit of division at work—the solution is redirecting back to "we are one spirit, God is advancing us together"
⚡ Your body belongs to the temple of the Holy Spirit and your spouse—if you're taking it into places (even mentally through porn or fantasy) that dishonor either, physical intimacy will shut down
🏗️ The three levels of intimacy must align in order: spirit first (shared worship of one God), soul second (one mind, shared dreams, aligned will), physical third (one flesh, safety, honor)
NOTABLE QUOTES
"We are one spirit whether we think we are or not—the conflict comes when spiritually we don't observe and honor the same God."
"Whatever we worry about 24/7 is what we worship. Whatever we talk about 24/7 is what we worship."
"If you are successful, that means we're successful because God is advancing us. He's doing something in us because we are one spirit—but a spirit of division wants to come in and say 'do you see what he's doing? He's succeeding and you're failing.'"
"Sex is the strongest binding agent—when you're having sex with somebody, your spirit is now one spirit with theirs. If there's competing spirits at play, that's where we have chaos."
"You can't lie. You can't hide certain things and expect that you're still gonna have intimacy. The body knows. The body remembers."
"When we are spiritually connected and then we go into soul—we get our mind aligned, our hearts aligned—intellect is sexy. Connecting with somebody mentally on shared dreams, shared projects, shared purposes is actually why a lot of affairs happen at work."
FEATURED SCRIPTURES
John 10:10 - "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."
Proverbs 3:5-6 - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."
Matthew 6:33 - "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Ephesians 4:3-6 - "Make every effort to keep the oneness of the spirit and the bond of peace. There is one body, there's one spirit, there's one Lord, there's one faith."
