Episode 221: 3 Strategies for Building Physical Intimacy with your Spouse

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Listen—if you're showing up physically but checked out mentally, or going through the motions in your marriage bedroom, Christine Jewell is about to flip the script on everything you think you know about physical intimacy. This is part three of her powerful series on becoming one mind, one soul, one body with your spouse, and she's not holding back on the practical strategies that actually work. 

Drawing from her background as a nutritionist and trainer, plus years of coaching couples who felt more like roommates than lovers—couples dealing with past trauma, walls of defensiveness, and the exhaustion of feeling used instead of honored—Christine breaks down why physical safety always comes before physical intimacy, and how your body keeps score of every unresolved wound. What makes this episode different? 

Christine doesn't just tell you to "try harder" or "schedule date nights"—she reveals the three foundational principles that transform sex from obligation into worship, and gives you tactical strategies you can implement this week to stop yourselves from creating connection and start honoring the sacred design God created for your bodies.

This Episode Is for You If:

• You feel like you and your spouse have become more roommates than lovers, and the physical connection has grown stale or disconnected
• The life you once dreamed of—where physical intimacy felt safe, exciting, and honoring—has been replaced by obligation, guilt, or just going through the motions
• You're carrying past trauma, betrayal, or rejection that makes your body shut down or wall up when your spouse tries to initiate intimacy
• You're working harder than ever in your marriage but the physical department is lacking, and you can't figure out why there's no desire or connection anymore
• You suspect that chasing pleasure or self-gratification has created division in your marriage instead of the unity and bond you desperately want
• You're ready to stop using your spouse as a mirror for validation and start showing up fully present—spiritually, emotionally, and physically
• You need practical, biblical strategies to reignite physical intimacy without the shame, manipulation, or transactional energy that's been draining both of you

KEY TAKEAWAYS

🔨 Your body is a living temple—every physical act either honors God's design for multiplication and unity, or aligns with the world's system of self-gratification and transaction

🌊 Physical safety always comes before physical intimacy—if your body is in survival mode, walled up, or shut down due to past trauma, no strategy will work until you create genuine safety

👂 Your body is a sensory gateway created to experience God's goodness—bring all five senses (sight, smell, taste, touch, sound) into every interaction with your spouse, not just in the bedroom

💎 Foreplay starts before you get to the bedroom—through morning walks, intentional touch, 22-second hugs, eye contact, active listening, and creating an atmosphere where your spouse can relax

⚡ The feminine is designed to receive, the masculine is designed to give—when the masculine comes to take instead of give, it creates violation; when the feminine can't relax, she can't receive

🏗️ Sex is a powerful binding agent—the question is whether you're creating a godly bond that produces depth, richness, and unity, or a dysfunctional bond twisted up with shame, fear, and misalignment

NOTABLE QUOTES

"We don't want to create situations where we're prostituting ourselves and our spouses inside of marriage and trading for sex, because that's going to leave us feeling dirty, empty, used, sometimes abused, violated."

"If you chase pleasure through self-gratification, if you're just chasing that feeling, you're going to go outside of God's design to get that feeling or that need met. But if you follow God's design for physical intimacy, pleasure, deeper connection, an unshakable bond starts to be formed."

"Physical safety always, always, always comes before physical intimacy. The body keeps a score. If there are past traumas, past betrayals, past rejections, these memories live in our nervous system."

"Your body is a living temple and it's a vessel of God. Every physical act, every act of touch, everything we do with our mouth, with our eyes, with our hands, or with our feet either honors God or aligns to the blueprint of the world system."

"Couples who work out and are regularly active together have better sex lives. There are chemical reactions that start happening. There's attraction that starts happening. There's syncing up that starts happening."

"God designed physical connection, sex and intimacy as a form of worship. When we have godly sex—when we're all in for each other, with each other, from a place of honor, loyalty, devotion—it is an act of worship."

FEATURED SCRIPTURES

John 10:10 - "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

Proverbs 3:5-6 - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

Matthew 6:33 - "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

Romans 12:1 - "Present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable service."